Kill the red.

Eyes have always made me queasy. Don’t get me wrong, I am glad they are there. I just don’t feel I need to be reminded of what I think is the most vulnerable part of my exposed body with revolting images like these. I also have a phobia of blood and veins. Again, I need no reminding that they are there.

And yet the ad agency who came up with this campaign seems to think I do. As a result, I have found myself inadvertently contemplating not only my eyes, but the blood pumping through them in miniscule proportions aswell.

I remember reading a story as a teenager that has been left imprinted on my mind. Maybe this story is the reason for my fear of the combination of blood and eyes. Who knows.

The story was about a nine year old boy who was fighting at the dinner table with his younger brother. The boy had the ingenious idea that he could use his cutlery to win the argument, and so, without any hesitation, he thrust his fork into his brothers eye. Here the fork fixed itself, and when the younger brother attempted to remove it, his eyeball came out aswell, stuck on the end. The eye and the fork were hastily repositioned in the eye socket, the boy was taken to hospital, and the offending weapon was removed, unfortunately taking the eye forever with it.

Sigh.

These ads for Croma Eye Drops just aren’t different or interesting enough to detract the viewer from how gross they are. What I would like to see is an advertisement for this type of product that in no way refers to eyes or the reason for their being red, and still manage to sell the product.

Now that would be clever.

Advertising Agency: Tonic, Dubai, UAE
Creative Director: Vincent Raffray
Art Directors: Valerio Battagli, Thomas Derouault
Copywriter: Dario De Albuquerque
Photographer: Tejal Patni
Illustrator: Amin Faramarzian

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It took me a few seconds to figure out what was going on in this campaign. Then the penny dropped. And I realised that I will definitely need this service at some stage in my life. In fact, I think all men can relate to this ad. Forgotten that anniversary? Caught checking out your hot neighbour? Skipped that fancy dinner to watch football with the lads? Fear not, a bunch of forgiveness flowers are only seconds away.

I’m not sure what women will make of this campaign. I’m sure they’re not too happy to admit that a bunch of flowers will cause them to forgive and forget, no matter what the problem. However, its quite blatant that this is designed to give the lads a laugh and make them aware of a service that otherwise they would normally never spare a thought for.

It reminds me of whenever you see a clip of a man getting a hit to the groin, and the synchronized sigh that all the men in the group let out. In a moment of madness, these women are threatening to destroy our most prized possessions. Be it: the wine collection we’ve spent years accumulating, the model boat we’ve meticulously slaved over, or the chopper we restored back to top condition, this ad touches all classes of men.

While most flower companies might try to encourage us to pre-empt this situation and send flowers on time or before an incident, 123 Fleurs understands that this is a wasted message to men. It simply goes in one ear and out the other. Instead, they’re our friendly neighbourhood flower bearers, right there when we need them after the inevitable screw up. They get the nod as the newest addition to my speed dial.

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I loathe getting my hair done for so, so many reasons.

Firstly, it always feels to me like such a waste of time. The waiting on the uncomfortable lounge, reading the hair magazines and trying to figure out how to tell the hairdresser how you think you want your hair styled.

You are surrounded by mirrors, so everywhere you look you can see the woman with her hair in curlers, or the one with two bored looking trainees painting bright red chemical dye onto her hair and wrapping it in foils. The reflections just keep bouncing from one wall to the other.

Back and forth.

The constant chittering and chattering should prepare me for the awkward attempt to avoid conversation with the hairdresser, but I am always stupefied by how I just have nothing to say.

After all this person is a stranger.

I usually try to avoid having anything too dramatic done to my hair. First of all because I really don’t like the maintenance that follows letting a hairdresser creatively loose on you locks; I am not one to spend hours in front of a mirror with pleasure. Secondly, it makes sense that the less you have done, the soooner it is over and the prying questions from the hairdresser need no longer be awkwardly avoided.

I must admit, I often find that somehow the hairdresser manages to get me talking more than I would like to be, about things that are none of her business. With all those mirrors, it is just too hard.

These photographs for Kaaz Hair Salon are sharp and decadent, and I can appreciate the work that must have gone into styling the hair and make-up. Unfortunately, they did not strike a chord with me, and rather than induce me to “change my style”, these images simply reminded me how much I hate getting my hair done.

Creative Director: Gaëtan Namouric
Copywriter: Jonathan Rosman
Art Director: Sébastien Deland
Client Services: Ève-Marie Boutet
Photographer: Alain Desjean
Retoucher: Claude Lafrance

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100% real.

I think it is impossible for anyone, no matter what age, to see this advertisement and not want to park a Hot Wheels car in one of those spaces.

I certainly did, and then my imagination got a little carried away. I began to fantasize about a whole little Hot Wheels town, with loads of little Hot Wheels car spaces just like these ones.

A little town with lots of little roads and traffic lights, little parks, a train station, buildings and pedestrians. When I was a child, I would have died of excitetment had I ever come across such a wonderful use for my imagination, and such a glorious waste of my time.

Unfortunately, my incredible tiny Hot Wheels town exists only in my imagination, and any attempt that has been made by others to create such a town are all guaranteed to dissapoint. For a moment I even had the ridiculous notion to create a tiny town myself, but then of course I realised that I really don’t care that much. The child in me had taken over for a moment and got a little carried away.

And so, while I dream of a Hot Wheels  town that does not exist, I can still appreciate the little Hot Wheels  stunt tracks and power launchers and super spiral ramps, especially the three-storey, triple action car wash.

In fact, somewhere in between the power loop and the monster flip and crash I have decided that I want one myself.

And not only did this advertisement convince me that I wanted a Hot Wheels  car, it also convinced me – even if only for a split second – that I could build a Hot Wheels  town of fantastic proportions.

I would call this a success.

Advertising Agency: Zink Project Valencia, Spain
Creative Director / Copywriter: Daniel Méndez
Art Director: Africa Moya

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A friend of mine doesn’t like to say “I really like kids.” Its not that he dislikes children, in fact he loves them. Rather, he feels uncomfortable at the thought of him being interpreted as really “loving” kids. I understand a 24 year old man with a child is an icky thought, however its one of those things- once its creeps into your head, it stays in full view.

While Pauline, Lenny, Logan, Capitan and Hobo may well be attending a friendly conference, somehow a human to animal rendezvous slithered into my mind. And I am feeling icky. The tagline “get friendly with the furry” certainly doesn’t help.

It is unfair to critique this based on my immaturity. However sodomy aside, the campaign still lingers in an uncomfortable stench. I cant help but question, were the animals intended to appear stuffed? Upon studying the Lucky Monkey Petting Zoo, I notice that animals are certainly real and living. Why then does the burgundy wall behind these animals very much resemble the den a 55+ Texas man?

If the agency was short on animals, I could understand the use of still life. However the client is a petting zoo- animals are in full supply.

The campaign could be largely more effective is the animals had a friendlier ambience. The alliteration in the copy has a nice simple ring. It is therefore unfortunate that the concept is ruined by my uncomfortable thoughts of sodomy and a Texas man’s den.

Although speaking of uncomfortable, I am constantly startled by Logan-  is he seriously not the character you spend the entire conference avoiding?

Advertising Agency: TH Richards Group, Dallas, USA
Creative Director: Glenn Dady
Art Director: Kiran Koshy
Copywriter: Jack Westerholt
Retoucher: Jose Campos
Photographer: Tom Hussey

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You can just imagine the board room yarns that would roll if your client was a foot deodouriser. Smelly feet jokes are easy toilet humour and in truth compliment fart jokes rather well. Both leave a destructive path of scrunched-up, Renee Zellweger lemon-sucked faces. Just as Pumbaa in the Lion King saw the affects of his stench, foot odour can similarly obliterate one’s social life. A student from Holland was a testament to this only last month- his foot odour was so rich, he was banned from his University.

This work from DDB New Zealand has certainly hit the smelly spot. Often such products base their key message around foot odour social blunders. DDB have alternatively offered us something simple and smart.

They have asked us: does your food odour even get a reaction from inanimate objects? The photography is particularly good as it capture the now animated laces.

However I notice that there is little diversity of shoe. I suspiciously ask, why are two out of three shoes branded Nike? Moreover, what about men and women’s fashion/work shoes? I can assure you through concerning examples that these  feet also reside in odour.

There is something about a living shoe that really appeals to me. While I love my shoes as a woman, I also love how people liven them up through alternative uses. Max from Get Smart went high-tech in his use, and there was a great use recently thrown at George Bush. Not to mention the amazing thought that “there was an old woman who lived in a shoe.” So please use Deoderizer. At least for her children’s sake.

Advertising Agency: DDB New Zealand
Creative Director: Toby Talbot
Art Director: Damian Galvin
Copywriter: Carlos Savage
Head of Art: Mike Davison
Photographer: Spid
Retoucher: Gordon Moir
Published: January 2009

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Diet soft drinks of today like to plug the ‘diet is better for you’ and the ‘it is the guiltless choice.’  It seems that the concept of diet soft drink as  “making you thin” is now a withering favourite. Advertisers have long been placed in the boiler for encouraging eating disorders. Therefore this assertion that Diet Pepsi will make you penny sized is certainly risky.

If you don’t mind a stick of superficial fun, this ad is somewhat entertaining. The photography isn’t too bad and the colour palette offers a nice warmth. However there are clear signs of advertising deficiency- where is the Pepsi brand? Also a tasteful copy would certainly get the juices pumping.

Yet perhaps the lack of copy could be explained by a means of avoiding trouble. For you see Diet Pepsi hasn’t “technically” encouraged antenna -like bodies. Technically we can interpret this splash as anything. It is so ambiguous the splash may NOT be an anorexic penny person. It could well be the soda can’s ring, or even an animal that has fallen short of the Pepsi.

Do you want to know my guess… a discarded can of Coke.

Advertising Agency: JWT, Mumbai, India
Creative Directors: Tista Sen, Shammsunder Gooud
Art Director / Copywriter: Shammsunder Gooud
Illustrator: Vivek Warang
Photographer: Avadhut Hembade

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